Why I wont be ringing the bell this year...

The thing about a blog is, for me at least, you use it for the stories that would get a little too long for Facebook or Twitter. So while this one is going to appear to be short, it's just too long to have on Facebook and let's face it, I was a little overdue on the blog posts.

Last week was our charity drive week. We chose to work with United Way and we had activities, auctions and food prepared in order to raise money. The money we raised would be matched by our corporate office and then handed over to United Way to be spread out among local charities.

Sounds good right? Well I went into this with a little bit of an unfortunately less than positive outlook. Why? Because my husband doesn't believe in "corporate" charities like The United Way. When I approached him about the charity, the first thing he did was point out how much the CEO made.

Let me be clear, Dan is NOT anti-charity. He just prefers to know exactly where his money goes. We both understand that large groups like the United Way can cast a much wider berth than a small group can. His concern is the recent uncovering of some less than giving charities that have recently been found to be hoarding a lot more money than necessary. Ultimately, we both decided that while we would not be donating to the United Way, we would instead direct the same amount of money to a local charity that we both agreed on.

While I felt good about our decision to donate to a more personal charity, I still had a week of lots of fun activities staring me in the face on a daily basis... and a recent cash increase thanks to a photo job I had picked up. Dan didn't need to know about that right? Would he be bothered by a couple games of Bingo and team trivia? Nah! Besides- I could potentially win PTO, lunch, gift cards and more! It was more of a calculated risk than anything and on top of it, I was donating with all my peers. Win-win!

As my wallet got thinner, I couldn't help but occasionally hear my husband's voice as he chastised me for "blowing" money on game after game of bingo. So when Thursday rolled around and found myself boarding the elevator with the United Way rep, I couldn't help it. What happened next was beyond my control.

First I held the elevator for her. I was going to maintain civility here!

As she stepped in and smiled her good morning, I let it out. The door hadn't even started to close.

"I'm sorry, but I have to just ask this- how much of our money is actually going to go to charity?"

She pursed her lips and looked thoughtful for a moment. Here it was, I thought, she's trying to make up a number really fast!

"To be honest, I don't know the EXACT number." She started. I was already feeling the smug satisfaction rise up as I planned my move in relationship to this ridiculous answer, but what I heard her say made my blood boil. "I would say it's about two and a half percent."

Without hesitation, I thrust my arm out to stop the elevator door.

"What?? Get out." I said firmly.

Her eyes got big. "What?"

"Two and a half percent." I repeated. "That's it? Get out."

As I said- that's what I HEARD. Obviously, my pregnancy was having an adverse reaction to my hearing, in addition to making me a caped crusader because she just started laughing at me. Like REALLY laughing at me.

"Oh my gosh! No! EIGHTY two and a half!"

If the floor had an escape hatch, I would have used it right then and there. I contemplated exiting the elevator and allowing her to go up without me. Maybe she would forget what I looked like in the thirty seconds it took to get to our floor? Not much hope of that happening. How many pregnant women with with nervous boob sweat could we possibly have in the office? I was mortified. In a split second I had gone from feeling like I was saving myself and my co-workers from wasting their precious dollars, to feeling like the biggest jerk imaginable.

Luckily, this woman was nothing but nice. "I have people ask us that question all the time. Don't feel bad!"

I nodded, allowing the elevator doors to close. "Yes I'm sure, but have you ever had someone try to throw you out for your answer?"

"Nope. That was my first! Thanks!"

I don't think my face had returned to a normal color by the time I got to my desk. I am pretty sure I apologized at least three times throughout the morning. I bought breakfast and played more bingo to help ease my guilty conscious. I just about gutted my wallet in order to feel a little less like a raging lunatic.

I must have done ok, because at the end of the day, before everyone cleared out, the rep I had tried to toss out of the building stopped by and thanked me for everything. Apparently she too noticed my now deflated wallet and the pile of losing bingo cards on my desk.

So, short story longer, I plan to budget better for next year, keep my mouth shut and play along. And this Christmas, when the Salvation Army starts ringing it's bells, I will have cash on hand rather than loose change from my car's ashtray. Not that I still feel bad or anything.